Anahon - 100% Lebanese » Jokes

Nemr Abou Nassar – Lebanese Standup Comedian

Fady Nicolas Al Aaraj — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 17:50:11 +0000

Nemr Abou Nassar

A Lebanese stand-up comedian at the Casino Du Liban.

Nemr Abou Nassar in his debut solo feature performance, ‘This is Why I’m Hot!’, all profits went to the Children’s Cancer Center of Lebanon. Both shows sold out.

Maz Jobrani – Standup Comedian

Christine Kalaani Karim — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:58:56 +0000

Maz Jobrani, a funny Iranian Standup Comedian

Good news and Bad news

admin — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 15:06:02 +0000

Abu El Abed (AA) answers the telephone, and it’s an Emergency Room doctor.

Doctor: “Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good
news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life.”

Abu El Abed: “My God. What’s the good news?”

Doctor: “I’m kidding. She’s dead.”

A Prayer by a Lebanese Girl

admin — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:39:59 +0000

A Prayer by a Lebanese Girl

يا مار فرنسيـس ****** تبعتلي عريس

يا يسوع المسيح******* يكون شكلو منيح

يـا ســانـت تـريـز****** ما يكون متل التيس

يـا قديسـة هيلانة ***** تكون جيوبوا مليانة

يـــا مــارمــارون******* ما يكون مجنون

يا عذراء العذارى****** يكون عندو سيارة

يـــا مــار مـتـري****** يكون عفكري

يا مار عبدو و لوقا***** تكون قامتو ممشوقة

يــا سـيدة حريصـا****** يقولوا حلو عريسا

يـــا مــار الـيــاس ***** يكون ابن ناس

يــا قـديسـة ريـتــا****** ما يكون متل الشيتا

يــا مـار وارطــان****** يكون عندو وجدان

يــا مـار سـمعــان ***** ما تكون عيونو عالنسوان

يــا مـار مـرقــص****** يكون بيعرف يرقص

يــا سـيـدة العطايا****** ما يكون عمل خطايا

يا جميع القديسين****** تسمعوني أجمعين

وتحوشولي هالعريس****** عن قريب عن قريب

إليكم شكري أجمعين ****** إلى دهر الداهرين

(ـ(ـ(ـ(ـ(ـ(ـ(ــ آمين…..آمين…… آمين ــ)ـ)ـ)ـ)ـ)ـ)ـ)

Mohammad & Jean-Francois

admin — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 11:28:00 +0000

Mohammad goes to school,….enters his classroom:

‘What is your name?’, asked the teacher.
‘Mohammad,’ answered the kid.
‘Here we are in France, there is no Mohammad, from now on your name will be Jean-Francois’, replied the teacher ..

In the evening, Mohammad returned home.

‘The day went well Mohammad?’ asked his mother.
‘ MY name is not Mohammad, I am in France and my name is Jean-Francois ‘……..
‘Ah, are you ashamed with your name?? are you trying to disown your Parents??? your heritage ????? Shame on you!! Then she beats him. She called his father and told him what happened and he beats him too!!

Next day Mohammad returned to school. When the teacher sees him with all the bruises she asked:

‘What happened my little Jean-Francois???’.
‘Well Mademoiselle., 2 hours after becoming French I was attacked by two Arab Terrorists…’

See how romantic Lebanese guys can be!!!!!!!!!

admin — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:06:00 +0000

- 7abaytik wein baytik?
- 7ilo jismik shoo ismik?
- 3tini bawsi min sheftek barki boukra ma3ash sheftek
- Shoo hal kanzi ya 3anzi
- Shoo hal jasad ya 2asad
- Khalleh ma3ik cha2fit may la2enno l 7elo bi dabbi2
- Shoo hal ta3jeh ya na3jeh
- Shoo hal ja2ra ya ba2ra
- Ya 7elo ya 7elo fi mennak 3a jello?!
- Kif harabteh men el sea sweet? Ma l achta ma 3anda ejrene
- Jamailiiikkk aba3 el ziiffffffffffffffffftttttttttt
- 3ala remshi btemshi
- 3ala khaddi bet23addi
- Tfaddali fouti… Sar 3enna tkhouti
- 3a rasi ya assi
- Lik yo2boch
- Jamelik ta3wajne
- Jamelik abba3 blat l 7emmem
- 7obbik nar 7ara2li l t-shirt
- Jamelik fa22ash ta22ash
- 3AJJLE WALA YHEMMEK…W2A3E B7OBBE W ANA BLEMMEK..
- Iza Albik men 7ajarrrrr…Ana ALBEH JARRAFEH
- YA 7ELWE ANA 7MAREK LABATNEH,,,W ANA GHAR2AN BI7OBBEK LA BATNEH
- JAMELIK WA2AF EL 7MAR BNOSS EL TAL3A!!!
- Zi7eh 3al fayy… l ashta bet7amed ta7t l shamess!!
- Shoo ya fraise… ba3dik mal à l’aise?!
- Law 3arifa l touflou nou3oumata khadeyki… la taraka l Pampers w khara 3layki
- El 7elleb sakkar, enti leh ba3dik barra!
- 7obbik nar w albi me2leyeh!!
- Jamelik fa22a3 mjerir el baladiye!
- Ya chocolatit albi w bonbonit 7ayete ana min dounik canderell
- Shou ya sexi, be3ezmik 3a aninet pepsi
- 7obbeh nar w 2albik tafeyeh ….
- 7obbik 5aza2ni w maza2ni w lazza2ni bel UHU
- Ya 2achta, jamelik 3assal sawasleh drasseh…

Sarcastic “Lebanese People” by Ziad Rahbani

admin — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 00:51:00 +0000

Don’t mind the accent!

CAR for Lebanon onlyyyyyyyy VERY FUNNY

admin — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 02:59:00 +0000

SAD BUT TRUE!